“No, you can’t tell him yes immediately. You don’t want to seem to eager, you know?”
“Dude just ask her out already. You’ll know each other as the relationship progresses.”
“Take your time. As much time as you need before you give me an answer.”
“I’m sorry but I’m dating someone now. I was waiting for you to ask but you took too much time.”
We may have different countries, cultures and beliefs. But the above statements can cut across borders and the Atlantic faster than the Titanic. Relationships can be a serious thing if you want it to be. Or can be super casual. Depends on the parties involved.
Take. Your. Time. For what exactly? Why are we taking our time? Simple answers all round. To avoid heartbreak, not to seem too easy, to be sure he/she’s the one, to make sure I’ve played the field enough (some would say there’s never enough field time). That’s something we’ll discuss some other time (hope I remember).
Now we’re gonna deflate those answers with lots of pins of logic. Heartbreak cannot be avoided. Say it with me. It cannot. I know some of us women have this fantasies (let’s not lie, the guys too) but reality loves to pour cold water on those fantasies. Ice cold water. A lot. Heartbreak does not depend on the span, length or duration of your relationship. It happens despite how fast or slow the relationship progressed.
Not to seem too easy? Define too easy please. Society tells you that’s the consequence of starting a relationship too soon. What’s too soon? Time is a universal relativity (hope this makes sense). It’s relative to you and her/him. If it’s not too soon for you, society can go to…I really wasn’t going to say hell…ish.
He/she’s the one. Remember what we talked about in the last post, love at first sight. Movies have really warped our brains. The person you call “the one” could die and you’ll be alone. Till another “the one” comes and you enter into another relationship again. To me, “the one” is just a figure of speech. I think it should be “the one you vibe with most at that time.” Why do you think friends end up into something more?
Players, players, players. Really? Play the field enough? Till you find “the one,” then realize she’s been there this whole time. Gimme a break. That’s too much television.
I have friends that started out their relationship “too fast” but they’ve been together for years. Some “took time” and I’ve listened to the sob stories as a result. Listen, it’s not about how slow or fast you take your time but about how hard you work at making the time. Okay? You want to get to know the other person during the relationship? It’s all good. You want to take your time to know one another and whether you vibe? You won’t die. But don’t let society tell how much time to take.
Just. Do. You.
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Till next time. Keep Musing.